Does Growing Up Mean Giving Up On Our Dreams?

I recently watched this video about following your dreams: Do We Have to Stop Growing?

It brings up lots of mixed feelings for those of us who haven’t necessarily taken the huge risks to follow our dreams. On one hand, it’s hopeful, as it really makes you think you are never too old to stop growing, stop dreaming. Aside from being ill and physically unable to practice whatever task it is you want to undertake, there really isn’t a reason to give up just because we have grown up. On the other, it can be depressing when you think of the dreams vs. the responsibilities we have as adults.

So how do we reconcile our passions with the responsibilities we have? I think the mistake we make when thinking about this is that we often take an all or nothing approach. i.e. ,”Well, I never pursued my dream of being a football player, so I sold out and it’s over.” Many of us have kids, homes, bills, and it seems nearly impossible to even think of living out those dreams we had. It feels as if we have given up and taken the safe route, and that we will die someday full of regret. But if I know one thing, it’s that life is not black and white, but filled with shades of grey. (Not 50 Shades of Grey, unfortunately!). Here are a few things to remember:

Your Passion doesn’t Have to Pay the Bills: For example, there are millions of talented actors, singers, and artists out there practicing their craft, and they are neither rich nor famous. Getting paid for your art doesn’t make you an artist, practicing your craft does. I am a singer and an actor, and I practice my craft when I can. I typically do get paid for it, but not enough to pay the bills. I get to live out my dreams while still being a wife and a mom, and while having a day job that makes me feel secure in my responsibilities. I don’t perform every day or even every month, but when I do, I love it. When I don’t, even taking a voice lesson or reading a script is still me practicing my craft and feeding my passion.

Baby Steps: Again, no all-or-nothing here. If you want to write a children’s book, it doesn’t mean you will be writing daily and be finished in a month. Maybe it means taking a writing class online or just sketching every day for a few minutes to get some ideas down.   If you have a long commute you can even record ideas into a tape recorder as you are driving. Be creative. Just because we are busy doesn’t mean we can’t carve out some time regularly towards what makes us joyful.

Think Process, Not Product: When I am asked to do a show, one of the most important things I consider is “Do I think the rehearsal process is going to be one that will be enjoyable and artistically fulfilling?” In order for me to take away time from my family, the answer must be yes. It is not worth it for me to do a project just to get on stage if the people aren’t collaborative or the experience isn’t going to help me grow in some way. Remember to stop and feel the joy it brings you.

Too Old? Ridiculous: I exercise frequently, and one thing I always notice is how so often I see people half my age struggling to keep up. I often can lift more, run faster, and hold poses longer than the college girls, and it’s simply because I work hard. And every day I see women much older than me who amaze me with their strength and stamina. Even in performing, I won’t get the same roles I could have gotten at 19, but the ones I do get I have so much more to give to. Hard work, determination, experience, those things are priceless.

Bottom line is this: Instead of thinking about how you DIDN’T pursue your dreams, think about how you still CAN. In a way that works for you and your family and your life. Make a plan!