Nuhvuh

Look at these monkeys. Pure Joy. They don’t give a sh*t about anything at this moment, except for “Is my smile the biggest??”, and maybe, “Is this quesadilla going to fall out of my mouth, and if so, can I pick it up off the floor before mom sees???”

SO many lessons to learn from these little people every day. So in that spirit, and with the coming of the new year, I have compiled a list of “resolutions”, i.e., things that I have resolved to not give a rat’s ass about anymore this year and going forward. Please advise……..

 

 

1. WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF ME.

The biggest one first, y’all. Why do we spent countless hours rehashing conversations, trying to read peoples faces, wondering if they like us, don’t like us, think we’re pretty, ugly, stupid, vain, selfish, a bad mom, shallow, immoral, untalented, and on and on and on??? WHY? Because, in the scheme of our lives, WHO GIVES A CRAP? I mean, with the exception of your spouse, children, and closest friends/family, why do you care? I care about what those people think because I hope I am enriching their lives in some way, that I am a good friend, wife, mother, daughter, friend, but that ultimately comes down to ME and what kind of person I want to be.

I have been guilty of spending way too much time worrying about this, but NO MORE. I am going to live my life, and if someone else has a problem with that, so sorry. Not my problem.

 

 

2. BEING “PERFECT”.

What does that even mean? Been there, done that. Turns out, that “perfection” thing we seek doesn’t exist, and we cause a lot of pain and waste a lot of time figuring that out. See that bony “old lady” on the left? That was me at about 90 pounds (and only 21 years old!). Miserable and looking 80-that’s what obsessing over perfection will get you.

Letting go of all that is the most freeing experience I have ever had. And the ironic thing is, I think the less we stress about the way we look, the better we look! And that example is true for all areas of our lives. We should strive for greatness, yes! But swimming upstream to try and meet some crazy ideal is just a losing battle. Try shooting for “just right”-that’s a good goal to strive for. And only you know what that is.

 

 

3. WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING

Know lots of people who live in a bigger house, drive a nicer car, have a “perfect” body,  have a dream job? Guess what, we all do. Here’s the thing:

a. For every person who seems like they have “more” than you, there are 1000 who have less. Think about it. First world problems!

b. I guarantee if those “lucky ones” offered to trade lives with you, you would realize that you really don’t want to. EVERYONE has issues and problems, and most of the time we have NO idea what people carry around with them. Be thankful. Be empathetic. Be non-judgmental.

I read this awesome quote I will never forget “If you are unhappy with your life it’s probably because you are living someone else’s”.

 

 

4. WHAT SIZE YOU ARE

Again, back to point #2. Are you healthy? DO you feel good? At a weight where you feel good but you can still enjoy food? Sounds good to me! I think as women, we are almost never happy with the size we are. GET OVER IT, we have a life to live! And food is just too yummy to deprive yourself all the time.

 

5. PEOPLE JUDGING YOUR PARENTING

Oy, this is a nasty one. And women are the worst offenders to other women. Can you honestly tell me your child has never had a tantrum in a store? I feel for those parents, after all, it was probably my kid yesterday! Really, old man in Costco? Is that child screaming really disturbing your otherwise peaceful meditative shopping experience? GIVE ME A BREAK. If people give you the stink eye in these not-so golden moments, just remember, they are being rude, it’s not about you, and if you feel the need, you have my permission to tell them to kiss your ass. Whatever makes you feel better. You know what kind of parent you are. Be happy with that. And this working mom vs. stay-at-home mom battle? Please. Work if you want, stay at home if you want, do what works for you.

 

 

 

6. LIFE’S LITTLE ANNOYANCES

It is SO easy to start your day off irritated about waking up late, traffic, bad sleep, being out of coffee, etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc. If you let that crap ruin your day, then you might just never have a good one! Seriously. Let’s all take a deep breath and let that stuff roll off our backs, some people have no home or a sick child. Real problems. I can’t say that I won’t ever be annoyed at the Diet Coke machine being broken at the QT, but I will consciously try to remember to not sweat the small stuff on a daily basis, and just be grateful for all the good stuff.

 

 

 

7. THE NEWS

Don’t get me wrong, it is important to know what is going on in the world, but we all have to remember that the media’s first job isn’t to give us news, it’s to sell advertising. If I keep that in mind, it always gives me a little perspective. I work in the financial field and have CNBC in my office all day. And EVERY SINGLE DAY things are blown out of proportion, such as the “best market to invest in” the next crash is coming”, and on and on. Part of my job is to help clients to keep that perspective and not let those things scare them. And the news is filled with scary, terrible things happening in the world every day. That’s what sells. “If it bleeds, it leads”, as they say. If we get caught up in that, we just live a frightened existence and forget all the good there is in the world. So do yourself a favor and take a break once in a while. Go play with your kids instead. Or watch Sweet Brown. Because that is news at it’s finest…..

 

 

8. WHAT YOU “SHOULD” or “SHOULDN’T” BE DOING

Oy. Should is such a nasty word in my opinion. A word with a big package of baggage inside. If you are “shoulding” yourself, then stop with the guilt! You either did or you didn’t, get over it! Guilt does NOTHING for you except make you feel shitty. Move on.

If you are “shoulding” others, then you are being the judgmental person that I know you don’t want others to be to you! I am going to make every effort to expel that word from my vocabulary this year all together. Yuck.

 

 

 

 

SO let’s all stop giving a shit about all this stuff, and START giving a shit about the good stuff, like love, friends, family, music, art, laughter, and great jazz. 2015 is going to be the best yet! Salud!